Friday, November 7, 2008

Aged To Perfection: Charli Baltimore = 1 Bad Mother ... Shut Yo Mouth!

Have I ever taken the time to truly explain to Y.O.U. the seriousness of the crush that I have on Tiffany "Charli Baltimore" Lane? No? Really? Hmmmmmmmm, that's odd because, typically, with some shit like this, I would have told on myself a looooooong time ago ... lol.

Anyway, in spite of the gossip surrounding this girl and her ridiculous amount of Hip Hop affairs (her dedication to service now spanning well over a decade) and her hit-or-miss rhyme skills, Ms. Baltimore has managed to secure a sacred place in my heart that no man shall put asunder. Much as the case with Kim Kardashian, my Herculean powers of selective denial have allowed me to consistently look past her obvious whorishness with a "Hey, everybody's got some skeletons in their closet", type of attitude that is not to be squandered on just any hoodrat from around the way. No, Charli Baltimore is special.

Charli Baltimore has been special since I 1st saw her in Junior M.A.F.I.A.'s "Get Money" video looking like Faith's prettier stunt double. I had no name to match that almost alabaster angular face of hers, but anonymity lasted only a short while as scandal brought Charli Baltimore's name to public attention and, @ the peak of his stardom and, tragically, perilously close to his untimely demise, Biggie formed "The Commission" and introduced her to the world. Post Notorious B.I.G., Charli Baltimore (and everybody else) desperately tried to regain their footing in the rap game and, having been greenlighted and actively encouraged by The Greatest Rapper Of All Time, she signed to Lance "Un" Rivera's $64 million flop of a label, Untertainment Records. Who could blame her? I let her slide with the "Money" record and whatever else she did .. shorty was trying yo. Please believe that she more than redeemed herself when she strutted her sexxxy ass into those nondescript Shaolin projects in a full length mink coat and proceeded to trade bars with Ghostface Killah on "Stand Up". Yes, all was forgiven. I've heard the word that Charli Baltimore's exquisite "brains" are the real reason that Jigga Man Jay-Z jigged Lance "Un" Rivera in the middle of that Q-Tip album release party @ the Kit Kat Club back in the day, but still I withhold judgement ... well, @ least for the most part ... lol.

Today, this old flame has recently been reignited by sporadic sightings of Charli Baltimore, here-and-there, with talk of an album in the works, but not much real material to speak of. Yeah, she put in work with Murder Inc. and, later, Black Wall Street, but aint nothing really pop for her with either situation. I would L.O.V.E. to be able to tell Y.O.U. something about shorty's current music, but, for now, all that I can do is congratulate her on her 2 beautiful daughters, Sianni and India, and compliment her on how well she has aged. Word, Charli has gotta be doing the perfect push up on 40 years old ... lol. Nice.

Junior M.A.F.I.A. - Get Money (NOTE: My avid Livestyle readers will remember that I have indeed already posted this classic video here when covering the murder of Brooklyn heist master Ivory "Nut" Davis who scored a leading role in this clip as the object of Lil Kim's pre-plastic surgery affection. I'm sayin' though, how could I do a post on Charli Baltimore without featuring her 1st video appearance? Huh? That's right, I couldn't.

Charli Baltimore Ft. Ghostface Killah - Stand Up (NOTE: As previously alluded to, Charli Baltimore is obviously a true Hip Hop head, but her music has always been hit-or-miss. This song is 1 of her direct hits. Whether or not people really remember it is another story, but real recognize real homie.

Y.O.U. did know that the girl who gets smashed over the head with a bottle that Jay-Z is referring to in the 3rd verse of this song is Charli Baltimore, right? Suuuuuuuure Y.O.U. did. LOL.

Charli Baltimore 2008.

"To all the Chrissys in every city and Tiffany Lanes, they're all hustlers in love with the same thing" - Jay-Z - Allure. So, Jay-Z has been talking about Jim Jones's wifey (Chrissy Lampkin) and Charli Baltimore for a minute, huh? Knowledge is power. Now run, don't walk, and go and impress your friends. You're welcome. You're all welcome!

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