The Official Livestyle Guide To Toasting: Toast Better. Toast Faster. Toast Master.

CHRIS LIVE AKA SHAKER SAYS: On this New Year's Eve 2009, I deem it important to briefly address what makes for a good toast. Now, I still drop liquor for the homies that aint make it, but, when indoors and surrounded by family and friends, it is not only a time honored tradition to perform, it also can add a touch of class to any occasion.

In my experience, confidence, brevity, a little bit of humor and candor - ya know, speaking from the heart - are what make for a most memorable toast. When all glasses and champagne flutes are raised, Y.O.U. can seize the moment and unify all party attendees or Y.O.U. can just waste their time. Basically, don't fuck this up. Done correctly, you'll be the toast of the town. Need an added incentive? Chicks dig it! LOL. How Y.O.U. like them apples?

Below are some classic toast quotes and an actual toasting "how-to" guide courtesy of Peter Paul "Paulie Walnuts" Gualtieri AKA Tony Sirico as published in "The Sopranos: Entertaining With The Sopranos". HAPPY NEW YEAR'S FROM LIVESTYLE! Cheers!

Toast Quotes:

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. ~ Charles Lamb

May you never forget what is worth remembering and never remember what is best forgotten ~ Unknown

Here's to your health! You make age curious, time furious, and the rest of us envious! ~ Unknown

May you live as long as you like, and have all you like as long as you live ~ Unknown

Success to the lover, honor to the brave, health to the sick, and freedom to the slave. ~ Unknown

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. ~ Tom Waits

Get Money ~ The Late, Great Notorious B.I.G.

"How to give a toast - by Peter Paul "Paulie Walnuts" Gualtieri
I am not a professional toastmaster, but I am usually the first person after the predesignated toasters to stand and speak my mind. Actually, I like to toast. I often prepare and rehearse the right words the night before. Then it comes out of my mouth spontaneously and sincerely. If you can't do that, at least do this:

1. Wait your turn. There's a specific order to these things that cannot be violated at a reception: best man first; then groom; then bride, if she wants; then father of the bride; then father of the groom; and so on. Unless you're one of those people, have another drink and be patient.

2. Quietly stand and ask for attention. No clinking of glasses, wolf whistles, or, "Hey, I'm talkin' here!" joke lines. Show a little class for once in your life.

3. Never say, "You know, I've never done this before," or, "Boy, am I nervous, I'm sweatin' like a pig." No one cares. Just get on with it.

4. Say something nice and personal. Avoid the standard crap like, "Here's to two wonderful people," or "I second what that guy just said." If you have nothing witty or heartwarming to add, don't stand up in the first place.

5. Here are a couple of ways people I know end a toast. "Salut'!" is always good. It means "to your health." Or, there's always "Cent'anni!" It means "a hundred years"- i.e., "May you live that long." If you want to strike a religious note, end with "E che Dio ti benedica," or "God bless you." Who can argue with that?

6. Finally, make it short, my friend. It's a toast, for chrissakes, not an address to Congress."