Monday, December 5, 2011

Swizz Beatz Unveils The Brand New Special Edition Red Chrome Lotus In NYC.

CHRIS LIVE AKA SHAKER SAYS: Surely, much to the chagrin of more than a few of his "boom bap" production peers, Swizz Beatz - a man who, thanks to his early calling card of ridiculously simple yet irresistibly catchy preprogrammed-sounding CASIO® keyboard beats, once enjoyed a dizzying streak of platinum hits that garnered him commercial and financial success while simultaneously invoking the enmity of many of his contemporaries - has recently engineered a gradual though complete image overhaul recasting himself as a true artist (NOTE: For demonstrative purposes integral to the effectiveness of this post to be pronounced in the pompously pretentious European count/countess manner of "arteest").

Yup, gone are the Ruff Ryders logo laden bandannas and oversized t-shirts - now it's sharply tailored Maison Martin Margiela suits and Christian Louboutin boots. Baby mommas have been replaced and upgraded too - son got Mashonda the fuck up outta here and went and snatched up the beautiful and incredibly talented "1-bad-day-fried-Oreos®-binge-away-from-my-White-sides-genes-kicking-into-full-cankle-mode" Alicia Keys. Clearly, this man has a plan! Next up is cosmopolitan social positioning ... or, in this case, pole positioning!

Taking his matured metropolitan aesthetic to the racetrack, the newly minted VP of creative design and global marketing for the legendary British luxury sports and racing car manufacturer Lotus, just unveiled this special edition Red Chrome Lotus (NOTE: Personally designed by Swizzy!) a few nights back @ a star studded gala in NYC. *Cue "Coming To America" Voice* "That boy good!" LOL. "Vroom! Vroom! Start it up!"

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